CAREGIVERS COPING WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS:
 Tips gathered from around the world

¨     You must take special care of yourself                                        ¨     You must take special care of your relationships

  ¨     Chronic Illness can be forever. Society is oriented towards acute care; we are quite

        naturally unprepared for the lingering illness of others. Especially in our own home.

¨     Each day you must develop a “wait and see” attitude for       what can and cannot be done that day.

 ¨     Do not assume decision-making roles for your loved one. You must not say “
        you look tired, you need to go and rest”.  Do say: “You look tired. What can
        I do to help?”  There are new sets of rules for everyone.

 ¨     The diagnosis of a chronic illness means-- you will always have an illness in
        your home.

 ¨     Remember that your loved one is still responsible for his or her own LIFE.

 ¨     Relationship skills will have to change, your central relationship will require
        new and better skills.

 ¨     Caregiving is not always selfness love transferred to another.  In fact,
       caregiving can be difficult and exhausting.

 ¨     Most Caregivers need and want MORE help and a good night’s sleep.

 ¨     You must develop a personal support system, just for you.

 ¨     You must take care of yourself, or there will be nothing left for anyone else.

 ¨     DO NOT hesitate to ask for help from friends and family.

 ¨     Keep your sense of humor and develop new interests.

 ¨     Have flexible expectations.

¨     Don’t think of your loved one as “the patient”. ¨     Maintain friendships. ¨     Create a telephone support network. ¨     Spend your energy wisely. ¨     Set priorities together.

 ¨     TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF—stay or get physically active.

 ¨     Learn to adapt – maybe you cannot go out to eat, but you could have a
       picnic in bed, or bring in a meal.

 ¨     Be prepared to wait!! Whether it’s in the grocery store, the doctor’s office or
       on the phone. Always have a book, note paper or a craft with you; and leave
       magazines or other reading material in the car.

 ¨     Join a support group. None around?  Put an ad in the paper—they’ll come!

 ¨     Your relationship will require new and better skills. If you think just because
        you have had a great relationship all will be well, you will be kidding yourself.

 ¨     Do not allow the illness to become the focus of your relationship-- You, Your
       Spouse and “IT”.

 ¨     COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION
         Protect your relationship, work together, chronic illness in not for sissies.